An Ode to Charles

Via Christina Aguilera:

"Ain't no other man, can stand up next to you

Ain't no other man on the planet does what you do.
You're the kinda guy, a girl finds in a blue moon.
You got soul, you got class.
You got style with your bad ass
Ain't no other man its true
Ain't no other man but you."

The first seven weeks of our girls' lives, Charles and I were both fortunate enough to be home together. We had lots of wonderful visitors, but ultimately the first two months were a very special time for Charles and I to earn our mommy and daddy feet. It was blissful, amazing, awe-inspiring and peaceful to be able to do this together, in our little home. During this time, watched our girls grow, learned to trust each other in these new roles, and adjusted to change of the timing in our daily lives. I will truly cherish this special time we had, always.

After the seven weeks was over and Charles had to go back to work, I had a little panic attack. I couldn't picture my days without him here with me. I had become so accustomed to our little routine and had only parented with him by my side. I really grieved for a moment; I knew this special time had come to an end.

I realized afterward that even though we've been together for almost 17 years, we had NEVER spent that much time alone together in succession. With Charles' job, he can be away for a few days at a time and we instead share our lives over the phone. The longest stretch of time I think we've ever gotten a chance to spend together was about 2 weeks during our honeymoon to Hawaii, and even then we were with friends and family. It was the most amazing thing to realize that even after 17 years, and now after 7 seven consecutive weeks together that I actually really like my husband! (And I think he likes me too... :-)

Those of you that know Charles in person understand why I like him. But for those that are far away, let me try to illustrate his strengths.

1) He is so thoughtful, especially around me and now the girls.
My aunt made this observation and although I knew it in my heart unconsciously, to have someone say it out loud made me realize all the little things that I have come to take for granted. For example if he gets up from a room, he will always ask if I need anything from where he is going. And he always kisses me before he leaves the house. With the girls, he is conscious about spending equal amounts of time with each of them, giving them their own dose of daddy love. He is also so aware of their comfort levels (heat, cold, itchy, tired, etc.) Sometimes I think he is more aware than me as I can be somewhat spacey!

2) He is a provider, is proud of and protective of his clan.
Charles works hard as a firefighter to provide for the family, and when it has been needed he has worked extra shifts to cover the expensive medical bills we have had to pay. My brother noted proud look in Charles' face when we stopped by the fire station near Christmas last year. I was till pregnant with the girls, and Matt noted that Charles gleamed from ear to ear showing off his pregnant wife's belly. He was and is such a proud papa! But he also gives me sage words of advice on how to keep myself safe and healthy ("drive safe!" "don't forget..." "go to sleep" "don't work too hard," "watch out for...") As I mentioned earlier, I can be somewhat spacey! so these reminders are helpful... :-)

3) He is a great cook.
Charles likes to eat good food and he also likes to feed his woman. Stark men all cook so Charles is not unusual in his talent, but I also think that because he knows how to cook well, he is not so excited to eat food that isn't cooked well (hint, hint, my cooking). During these seven weeks I was STARVING as my body adjusted from feeding two girls inside my body to feeding two girls outside my body. Charles made me home-cooked meals almost every night we were together. Yum!

4) He is an extremely hard worker.
During the seven weeks he was home, Charles became the diaper changer extraordinaire and he would help me set the girls up for the 8 or so feedings a day until I learned to get them on by myself. Being with me and the girls was the primary purpose of him being home, but he wanted to feel like he had also accomplished something. So he:

•  Cleaned the cars 
•  Power washed the driveway and patio to remove mold from the winter
•  Created brick walkways so we could get the car seats in without stepping on dirt

• Built 6 sets of heavy-duty shelving in the garage so that we could store extra baby clothes that were donated, and have room for a small "pantry!" (see my Coup-Ins blog for reasons why this pantry is badly needed!)
• And created the most amazing vegetable garden out of our yard of dirt! The tractor picture is what our yard looked like at the end of last summer when Charles took everything up so we could redo it. Two babies, no money and one year later, it was still dirt.

Below: one of two rows of tomatoes. Yum!

Green beans, sugar snap peas, swiss chard, beets, carrots, green onions, and our peach and plum trees grace this photo.

More green beans, peppers, eggplant, two kinds of cucumbers, the two rows of tomatoes, sunflowers and wildflowers are shown in this picture.

Sweety, thanks for all you do, everyday in your own way. You are an amazing person!

Love you,
Amy